Borderline

So....


Okay..so yesterday...
it was all about food and triggers for me ....I thought about it a good bit...
For a long time I assumed I ate at times because that is how I handled my emotions.
I didnt go any deeper than that.
And for some people that is as deep as it goes. Food is their drug of choice.
Someone a good bit smarter than me once said
"The fat was an unfortunate by product of my food addiction"
I am paraphrasing here. The fat wasnt or isnt doing anything for people except causing folks pain.
Which is bad enough.
There are a lot of obese people for whom this post does not apply..
I am only addressing it here because it absolutely DOES apply to me and maybe a few others I know of.
But what if your fat...is not just an unfortunate byproduct....TRICKY huh!
You dont generally find this out till about mid way through your weight loss struggles.It will present itself in stealthy ways.
Say..a certain number.
If there is a certain number that you approach and then Boom you bloe it
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
red flag.
Your subconscious mind is sabatoging you...dollars to donuts.
200 is a number I often see in relation to this phenomenon.
Or for some it could be 250 or 300...That number means something to you.
What?
That is a question only you can answer..
But here is the thing.
Sometimes it isnt a number.Sometimes its a happening.
This is the reason that for a long time...I couldnt pinpoint my trigger.It happened at all different weights.
Yes some of it was diet fatigue.
Some of it was wanting to eat and being hungry.

I tried to laugh it off.I fought through it.

You may not know the magnitude until you pull the food away.
This can make people not even try.
They fear trying because then they will have to pull this crap out and deal with it.
And when it comes right down to it.I don't think they fear the deprivation of limiting calories.
I think we all fear the knowledge of why we were using food in the first place...
and having that knowledge...then having to fix the crap thats wrong.

That can be life altering.
That can be very scary.
Obese people aren't stupid.

Your life isnt structured the way it is out of laziness.
There are reasons that are very logical.
The question is do you want change enough to upend your whole life to achieve it.
The pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain of becoming who it is you know you are capable of being.
It may mean losing something...or someone.
It may mean that nearly everything other people love about you is a lie.
I am here to say irregardless of the pain it may cause you or others...It is worth it.
Its better living truthfully.
It is better knowing yourself.
It is better fixing the ugly parts.
Airing them out.
Kicking them in the @ss...and finally living a whole life.
I know because I am doing it.
And so can you.
It HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WILL POWER.
It is making the choice to change and accepting whatever consequences those choices bring.
It is worth it...and so are you.