Thursday, May 27, 2010

Happy Birthday


Another year older.

I get reminded alot from my amazing, wonderful, loving, supportive friend group here in Montgomery that YES, I am indeed the oldest in the group. I am almost 9 years older than some and as little as 4 years older than others. I get all the " wow are you that much older than us " jokes...
I never take them serious. Never have and never will.
But approaching this birthday has been a little different than ones in the past.
I turn 36 today and that puts me closer to 40 than I am perhaps comfortable with...

But this past year I decided to get serious about me....
I decided to put my health and well being first for really the first time in my life.
I decided to be happy in my decisions.
Its made all the difference. Almost one year ago I was weighing the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life...Today on my 36th birthday I am happy to report that I am 60lbs lighter and am on the right track.
I will eat some birthday cake at some point this weekend. I will grill out with family and maybe go off points a little bit but thats ok....because I celebrate not being where I was last year this time.
I know that you can celebrate special events with Weight Watchers but what you cant do is take off weeks at a time and celebrate the whole month of your birthday and still expect results.
I know I cant make excuses for my excercising and then expect the scales to be kind to me. Its something I take serious and look towards the end of the summer and knowing that perhaps I will be 10-15lbs lighter than I am now.
Its a daily affirmation for me to look ahead and imagine what will be...

I celebrate knowing that I am taking the steps to hopefully celebrate the next 36 years or hell the next 72 for that matter.

And as Frank Sinatra used to say
" May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine "

Salude !

Monday, May 24, 2010

Ice Ice Baby


I found this online ...enjoy.
Also ...

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - 0.00 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

What You Sometimes Want To Say At Your Weight Watchers Meeting

“Weight Watcher’s frozen pizza is delicious… if you like fake-cheesy cardboard.”
“This is what I get for losing 25 pounds? I’ve won better stuff playing Skee-Ball.”
“I believe that scale needs to be re-calibrated and I should know because I’m a full-time scale calibration technician.”
“Dip my fork in salad dressing? Lady, that’s just crazy-talk.”
“Is there a Weight Watchers iPhone app that shocks you when you try to eat pie?”
“Yes, that’s a five-pound gain, but I have a good excuse: there was a weekend in there.”
“A Big Mac only has fourteen points? Let’s ride!”
“That’s right… this week I’ll be using my ‘Get Out of Weigh-In Free’ Card.”
“I suppose it’s just a coincidence that “leader” rhymes with “eater.”
“We’re watching a movie at this week’s meeting: ‘Diethard with a Vengeance.’”
“Weight Watchers yogurt is fantastic… for grouting tile.”
“I can’t have gained weight! I haven’t eaten in 96 hours…”
“Order a pizza with no cheese? What kind of sick maniac are you?”
“No, I didn’t track all my points, but I did DVR every episode of ‘Top Chef’.”
“My family really let me down. They just sat there and watched me eat that can of Crisco.”
“I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.”

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Mozart's Sonata for Piano No. 11 In A Major


Stages of Dieting (kinda like the grief ones ya know )

Denial -
At my heaviest I remember that I could look at myself in the mirror and at certain angles and with the proper lighting convince myself that I looked pretty much all right. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I didnt look half bad....even though I felt like day old crap most mornings. I felt like I was okay... and then Id see a snapshot taken of me at a party and my self-image would deflate like a soufflé during any type of baking I try.

Anger -
I cant tell you how many of my diets were initially fueled by feverish anger… getting mad at myself at my my inability to get my act together. But heres the thing about my burns white-hot for a short period.... but its simply not going to last....not something that can carry you over the long haul.

Bargaining –
Ill just have one more reckless weekend, one more bust a before I really really and I mean really get serious about it. Thats what I told myself over and over and over. Its funny how those “last meal” moments dont really get the job done as a diet booster… well.... not all the funny when you stop and think about it.

Depression -
Overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and levels of frustration bitterness and self pity. Thats what a lifetime of not being able to get the deal done generally brings about......You feel down and out....lower than low. This is the darkness before the dawn.

Acceptance -
I doubt that theres a single one of us that doesnt know exactly what we need to do to lose weight and get more fit. We know it....We know it like we know our own names.... yet we stumble and struggle to eat the right things.... do the right things. Then one day (if were very lucky) it clicks and it all comes together for us... in our heads and in our hearts... and we realize how all the parts and pieces fit together.... how energy effort and enthusiasm can come together to create great circumstances. That is when the magic happens...

I dont really know how appropriate it is to "borrow" the stages of grief idea for a post about losing weight and getting more healthy... but I will use anything I can get my hands on...rants and rhymes even riddles–to help drive these points home. Ill use anything and everything at my disposal to keep pushing myself (and you I hope)to a better place.

Wherever you are on this journey I hope youre finding yourself making progress. I hope youve left behind your anger and self-doubt. I pray youre done with the bad bargains and the pity parties.

I hope you are in a good place... ready to face your challenges and your opportunities.....your future head-on !

We can do this.

Accept that fact and lets go.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I Got A Name

There is a difference in complaining and being truthful
There is a difference in seeing and doing
There is a difference in whining and standing up for yourself
There is a difference in blaming and accountability
There is a difference in struggling and failing


Here I am.
Still stuck in the middle of my weight loss journey. Frustrated ? No....Upset ? Nah....Wondering when things are going to kick over and pounds start dropping again ...Yes.
In the past 3 months I have lost and gained the same 7lbs. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Its a cooling off period. Its a plateau. Its your body adjusting. Its you not counting points. Its you not excercising right. Its you having more beers than your should. Its You.
I did two things today in regards to my journey. The first is that I weighed in at Weight Watchers and had gained three pounds. The ladies there are incredible. They genuinely are concerned When you gain. They want to see you succeed. They know whats its like to come in there week after week and step on those scales. They know what its like to go out to eat with friends and wonder if this little excursion will derail you in some way. They know what its like to have folks you are around tell you that "going off once wont hurt you" They know that statment is full of poo.
I totally agree that you should eat what you want but in moderation and that you should count it. But when you are faced with temptations day after day...its those things that derail you. Folks who tell you it "wont hurt" are usually fairly thin little waifs of folks. The could eat China for dinner, burp and then have New Zealand for dessert. And thats fine....but I cant do that and lose weight. I need the structure of points, counting, weigh ins, support of fellow members and friends. I am beating a dead horse here for two reasons A. I hate horses and B. This is a LONG JOURNEY for me. I dont have a wedding to make in July and want to get into something nice...I am not going hang gliding tomorrow....I am not jumping out of a plane for fun anytime soon (but one day I will ). One day at a time for me....
The second thing I did today was something that I have talked about for weeks now and make it official today. I walked into Planet Fitness and talked to their personnal trainer. Robert is his name and first impressions are as follows ...

He really seemed interested in helping someone achieve their goal.
He was intense but not Jillian or Bob intense.
He was in AMAZING shape but not freaky looking.Just solid.
He knew what he was talking about in regards to equipment.

I was impressed with him and we stood there for about 35 minutes talking....The more I talked the more I liked what he was saying. Heres the kicker ...The first things he does with you are free. He shows you this and that. How to run machines and use them to get the best results for your efforts. He said that for some folks thats all they need and they are good to go...
Some he said then move to another level and want him to help them even more and for a very reasonable price he can take you there.

I start Tuesday morning at 6am with him and am very excited to see what happens next in this journey.

And by the way ...the bottom picture above was made about two years ago at my church for Senior Recognition Sunday with one of my youths ....The top picture was made about two weeks ago for this years Senior Recognition Sunday...I can already see a difference in 8 months of hard work ..

Wish me Luck

Starting Weight - 381 lbs

Todays loss/Gain - + 3.0 lb

Total Lost - 57.5 lbs

Todays Weight 323.5 lbs

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Consider Yourself


Theres nothing quite as fattening as stupidity.

I really dislike tracking my eats because I feel pretty strongly that Im trying to make changes in my diet and myself that transcend keeping up with every crappy calorie that passes my lips.

I want to feel confident that I can live my life making sensible choices and eating a little more mindfully.

Its a nice sentiment...... but easier declared than delivered.

I was blaming my recent scale slowdown on my lack of dedicated excercise time, but the simple truth is that a pipe with a lot of little leaks in it can do as much damage as one big leak. Maybe even moreso because those teeny-tiny leaks are harder to notice and alot more difficult to contain.

Portion control, sneaky snacks, grab and go munchies, theyve all played a part in my recent weight woes, but what Im really struggling to correct are the late night THINGS that arent necessarily unhealthy.... but can sabotage me on the scale. Those are the issues im trying to rein in this week.

Just trying to be a little bit smarter about how I make my way through the day.

Ive come a long long way.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Just As Though You Were Here


Every so often, its important to take a step back and take a deep breath to tap into that reserve of inner strength we all possess and rededicate ourselves to this mission thats in front of us.

Thats where I am right now.

Ready to push myself just a little bit harder, ready to double down and get serious about my goals.

Because I tend to sing, dance and joke so much in this space, its probably difficult for you to tell just how serious I am about this march toward fitness this surge toward a better life. I kid around with you because… well because thats what I do but these are my aspirations and objectives:

I will never again let myself be defined by my greatest weakness.

I will be smarter than I look and stronger than you think I am.

I will strive to eat foods that are more local and healthy, less processed and chemical-filled.

I will never again sell myself short.

I will be honest with you in this space, but more important… I will be honest with myself in every other space I occupy.

I will work out with zeal and zest, I will exercise with purpose and passion.

One day in the future, the only time I will shop in the Big & Tall section will be when Im getting something for the kid from the wrong side of the tracks who goes to the same private school as my kids and is really good at football and might one day play at Ole Miss.

I will do more tomorrow than I did today.

I will have bad days here and there, but I can assure you that the good ones the ones where I eat on plan where I fight the good fight where I keep my mind on my mission and my mission on my mind... those days will far outnumber the bad ones.

I will not falter and I will not fail.

This is my life and I plan on living it to the fullest.