Through the Looking Glass............

When I first started this blog more than two years ago I told myself and the lovely readers out there that I would treat this as an online journal. Of course I started it with the intentions of talking my way through my Dads death.....I have always tried to be honest to myself here and my readers... having said all that this post is gonna be tough!!

I found out Monday night that my Grandfather, my Ga, my dads father ,carried on an affair with a women more than 15 years his junior for about 8 years off and on. It seems to have started in the Late 70's and continued right up until his death in 1984 at the age of 68. Excuse my language here but WHAT THE FUCK???
This information has rocked me to my core ....I have spent the last 24 hours trying to make heads or tails of it....here are a few things about the whole situation.

• They met in AA.
• They would meet at a local hunting lodge in Macon County and AHEM go from there.
• She was also married
• The other women would stay at the hospital with him after family had left for the night.
• My Nana knew about it and had tried to get him to stop seeing this women and thought he had....the other women came to the funeral .
• The other women died this past sunday morning.

I dont know how to comprehend this ......this was my grandfather!! Not that it would be any better or worse if it were my Dad but we hold our grandparents in a different light and now that light is shining in a whole different way..... the other thing--I was the last person in my family to know this had happened ?!?!?!? My mother knew,brother, aunts, uncles...but I find out when my mother shows me the obit in the paper. She assumed that I knew everything....WOW!

What am I upset about ? The fact that he had this affair? The fact that I did not know? I dont know but it has upset me more than anything in my recent memory. As I do with lots of things I tried to find the humor and wondered if we should perhaps send flowers to the family ??? HA I mean no disrespect to this women by calling her "the other women" but that seems to fit....

I am angry, pissed, hurt and more than anything feel terrible for my 88 year old grandmother who was married to a man who was not faithful to her. My grandmother who for the past 24 years has never to my knowledge said a bad word about her husband. My respect for her is tremendous !!

Anyway ...thats my post tonight