The Christmas Waltz

So.....

We are knee deep in the holiday season ..Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, New Years ...the list goes on and on and so far this year I have been to more than a few parties with a few more to go before New Years Eve.

Here is a list that someone sent me. It is a good listing of things to do to help you out at a party if you feel the need to go a little overboard.

Always bring a pocketful of low-fat ranch dressing to dip carrot sticks in.

Dance furiously to burn off extra calories, even if there isn’t any music.

When you see a plate of cookies, think about me licking each one of them (because I do that at every party I go to).

If you’re looking for a beer that’s lighter than regular beer, try “light” beer.

Chewing on poinsettia leaves will suppress your appetite (probably due to the fact that they’re poisonous).

Instead of eggnog, enjoy a glass of eggwhitenog.

If there’s a bowl of chocolates, stuff them all in your mouth as quickly as possible so that they won’t wind up tempting you all evening long.

To get a little exercise, use the restroom at the house down at the end of the block.

When no one’s looking, spin around a couple hundred times.

Raw vegetables are a good healthy choice, especially if you fry them up and dip them in catsup.

While you’re talking to your boss at the office party, shake uncontrollably. It burns 40 calories an hour.

If someone offers you a piece of cake, explain that you’re Catholic and can’t have any.

Wear clothes that are three times too small so that you won’t feel like eating because one sugar cookie might make a button shoot off you as if shot out of a gun.

Ask the host if he or she has a treadmill that you can drag out into the living room.

Every time someone offers you a drink, fake a heart attack.