You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You

So....

This is what I think about low fat foods. I like um....
I have had to change the way I look at food.
I have portion issues, which are better, but will never be cured.
There is a difference between eating a head of cauliflower and a gallon of "low-fat" ice cream. If you have this issue do not try to fool yourself.
I sometimes do think that one mistake might ruin me.
I hear and read about people having 8000 calorie nights with ice cream, cake and pizza. I have also seen how hard it is for them to get back on track. I can not do that. Not now, not ever.
I have had those days before and I know how hard it is to get back on track. Not again.
I know that drinking water means nothing if I eat like crap.
I know that walking for 3 miles means nothing if I eat 10,000 calories.
I have to stay on my points. If not, I will be fooling myself like I have for almost thirty-six years.
I need to do this Every. Single. Day.
I have too many people who want me to succeed. Myself included
I will not fail!

G'night all ...

Dont Know Why

So ......

I have managed to increase the readership of my blog. I am happy about that...I am glad if someone gets something from these posts....its Great to hear that.

One of the main questions I keep getting is why now? Why Now ? WHY NOW ?
Why have I decided at this point that its time to get serious about my health....I dont know why or have ONE reason but here goes

Here are a few things....

• I felt bad.
• I struggled to sit in a airplane seat.
• The clothes I had fit tight and the closet was full of stuff I had not worn in years.
• I was scared.
• I was tired of being worried about whether or not I could sit in a booth at a restaurant.
• I want to see my nephews get older and graduate. Get Married
• I want to buy clothes in the regular section of stores. Big and Tall comes with a BIGGER pricetag
• Seeing my Dad die from a massive heart attack and stroke is not something I want to see repeated with me. I could have those genes naturally but I am going to do all I can to lower my risk and get my heart in a good place
• I looked bad.
• I was tired of feeling tired.
• I sweat alot...ugh its just gross.
• Dream to hike the AT. Part or all will do
• I have two beautiful goddaughters that will need me to spoil them with toys and books and trips to the movies.
• I got alot of living left to do

So there ya go ....just a few things ...more might be added later...

One more thing ..a few things to always remember when you are trying to survive a zombie infested America....Rule number 2-Double Tap and Rule number 3-Never trust a bathroom.

Can't Fight This Feeling

So....

Its Saturday and I have a busy day planned....A good friend is in town and we are spending the day together doing stuff and catching up ..
Also, I have been collecting low fat/calorie recipes for the past few weeks and have pulled out a couple that I want to try. Several if not all are "fall" related....Pumpkin-Cranberry Bars, Pumpkin Squash Soup,etc. So I am excited to try out some new stuff ....
Also there is a full day of football watching to be had....

Went for weight in today and here is where I stand today

Start Weight-381lbs
Todays Loss-2.5lbs
Todays Weight-354.5lbs
Total loss to date-26.5lbs

So a good day so far .....another thing I am going to add in the near future is my measurments. Waist, legs, chest etc. and update that on a monthly basis perhaps. I also want to start adding some pictures here and there of the results of my loss.
IN other happy news I started about two weeks ago using a belt that I ahve not used in a good long while ...and last night (friday) I had to move it down to another notch. Double Win I say ...

Have a great weekend.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Forum

Something funny I found out in the space known as the intrawebs ...enjoy. Funny things POSSIBLY overheard at the gym.


“I once had an out-of-body experience on that piece of equipment.”
“Wheeww… maybe I shouldn’t have donated blood right before my workout…”
“I couldn’t afford gel insoles so I filled my sneakers with chocolate pudding.”
“Y’know, if I could be any kind of animal in the world, I’d be a mammal.”
“Skateboarding on a treadmill is more exercise than it looks.”
“I’m just curious: what’s your social security number?”
“Excuse me… do you know where this gym’s smoking section is located?”
“I did 500 virtual jumping jacks this morning.”
“Mind if I change the TV to The Incontinence Channel?”
“Wanna see me make my muscle pop up?”
“Who filled my water bottle with Milk of Magnesia? Oh wait... I did."
“I have about 8,000 songs on my iPod, but they’re all Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”
“You know what this gym needs? A Moon Bounce!”
“Aren’t these workout gloves soft? They’re made out of human skin.”
“I’m training for a 0K marathon.”
“Wow, the women’s locker room has a lot fewer urinals than the men’s.”
“Want a piece of my garlic-onion-banana gum?”
“Excuse me, but what’s a good exercise for your headtoid muscles?”
“Man, my thong is riding up.”
“You know, when I finish my workout, I feel like a beautiful butterfly.”
“My name’s Jack, but you can call me Zsa Zsa.”

See yall tomorrow

On The Street Where You Live

So....

You wake up at 3am...the house is quiet....the street is quiet outside....

but you are wanting something.....sugar, salty, anything. You go to the kitchen to the fridge like you have done hundreds of times before and you stand there wanting SOMETHING.

You open the freezer and you see in the back some ice cream that you forgot was there ....Heck yeah!!

You get it out and notice that its got ice all over it .....really hard. Not the best thing but any port in a storm huh ?

You know you have done good this week so eating some really good ice cream wont kill your diet ....You maybe have lost 3lbs this week so eating this might bring it down to 2.5...still a good week right ?

No one will know or care really ...except yourself.

So what do you do ?

Thats what different this time for me folks is that I care more than anyone reading this blog can understand. I care. I am the most important person who cares.

Weight loss is not about diets, it is about courage.

The courage to make the right decisions when no one is looking.

To make these decisions day after day, week after week.

People do not realize it, but when you start making these types of decisions work gets better, your friends and family look at you different, and you start looking at yourself different.

You walk straighter, you pants fit better, and all of the sudden you are a new person.

These decisions are hard at first, actually seem impossible but once you start making them it gets easier. Life gets just a little easier.

If you dont get what I am saying thats ok ...cause I am on this journey for life. I will mention it again and again and again.....

All I Ask Of You

So.....

Last night I actually went to sleep sitting in the chair and decided to take it to the bed and I did not post ...so here goes

I hate motivational quotes.
I hate the fact that people try to say something so fantastic.
I hate the fact that people look for them so they can make it trough the day.
Dieters always look for motivational quotes.
They feel the need to be inspired by others.
People need to inspire themselves they want that "magic trigger".
When they are having a bad day, they can look at a poster or Twitter and see some quote:"Reach for the stars! You might get one, and they are low calorie!"

Ugh ....

They see the quote and then think "Thank God I just read that! You are right, life is not about food.Why didn't I think of that!"

A quote does nothing for me. People inspire me. People motivate me.
Anyone can make a quote.Were those people great mothers/fathers?
Did those people follow through with their goals.
Were these people as inspirational as their quotes?

I get inspired every day by looking in the mirror.
Actions speak louder than words.

The only quote I like is " yeah, I want to get this shirt in a large"

Let's Get Away From It All

So.....

How's it working for me in terms of being accountable to myself on all things concerning weight loss?
I read the other night this example...
To me, true accountability is seeing spilled milk on the floor, not caring who spilled it, getting on your knees, cleaning it up, and then talking to everyone about the best way not to spill milk.
Being accountable in my weight loss has become a big thing. It's actually become pretty dang huge for me ...I think thats one of the main reasons I have changed my blogging habits. It's why I am not ashamed to let folks know what my starting weight was or the fact that I would always buy a 3x shirt when I went to the store. I needed accountability in my life and have found it.....
Weight Watchers places alot of focus on it...
I go each and every week to weigh in...Step on those scales and get my results.
I still am getting 44 points each day and that will soon change but in the 7 weeks I have been able to look at those points and think " How can I best make the most of those points?"
" How can I choose something healthier for me ?" "Whats going to fill me up the best and not leave me craving something later on in the day ?"
I am slowly starting to get away from an "old" me ....
This has become a new part of my life and it's not leaving anytime soon ....Yay!

On a side note I also read on someones blog where they posted a few silly questions ...so I am doing the same here

If you are dressing up for Halloween, what will you be going as ? Fred Flintsone for myself...you?

Twitter or Facebook ? Six of one half dozen of another for me ...you?

Blackberry or iPhone? iPhone for me...you?

Which fashion style would you like to see come back in style? Men wearing hats for me ....you?

Dill pickles or Sweet pickles ? I like both ...you?

G'night folks ...Peace

I'm Drinking Again

So.....

Contrary to the title of the post tonight ...No, I am not drinking right now. In fact I have not been drinking much at all over the past few weeks.
I am like many of you out there and enjoy a beer from time to time while watching a football game. Or perhaps a gin martini from time to time when out with friends but here lately I have not wanted or desired really to have anything.
Since starting my diet back on August 9...I have had a grand total of 4 drinks and one of those I did not even finish.
I have read enough already to know that alcohol makes you retain fluids.....its high in calories. I guess some are better at the calorie game than others but for the most part they are high.
Its just not something I need in my life right now while I make these necessary changes.
Will I never drink again ...No. I will enjoy something from time to time but for now ...this is where I am at and i am fine with it ...

So just for poops and giggles tonight ...what is your favorite "adult beverage"?? Lets hear about it ...

Peace

You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch

So.....

If its Saturday then its meeting time and weigh in at Weight Watchers. During the past week I lost another 3lbs ....How bout that ??? Very excited here and I also got a 5% star ....so that means I have now lost 5% of the weight I need to meet the goal set by Weight Watchers. Thats a great thing but as I told someone at the meeting...I am not about stars and bookmarks and such ...I am just doing my thing and going on. Accolades are great but better health is my main goal.
So here we are today....

Starting weight-381lbs
Total loss to date-24lbs
Todays Weight-357lbs

Today at the meeting it came up about staying positive during all the changes in your life. It was all over the board but it got me to thinking about folks who just cannot be positive about things...
I know and realize that there will be days when you totally fail at staying on your points....There will be days when you go to Five Guys and get that big huge burger and eat it and think AHHHHH............thats just what I needed and then you are like DAMMIT what the hello was I thinking doing that ...
Damage is done though ....so you move on. You cannot let that keep you down ....You have to move on past it. Some folks say " well, I messed up so I will just get back on track next week" and next thing you know its a month later and you are hitting Five Guys once or twice a week.
Being positive is the key to things I think ...
Also...folks who seem to want to sabotage you....I dont think they mean bad its just what happens. And some folks seem to get mad when you refuse food or seconds for that matter.
I have heard from one person lately that said " well its great you have lost weight but you can always gain it back" Huh? What? You mean I can gain it back ...get outta here..........
I know that and thanks for talking about the pink elephant in the room...
This for me is about a total lifestyle change. Moving in a new direction with my life...This is a stepping stone for bigger and better things. But it starts here ....
Give me the advice....talk to me about the challenges...affirm to me that it will not be easy...but for gosh sakes lets try to be a little positive

I Guess I'll Have to Dream the Rest

So.....

Its 12:12am and I am tired ...and want to go to sleep but a post will be coming tomorrow about weight loss and excercise and all the fun stuff you guys have come to love and expect...So
STAY TUNED
Peace

If I Were The King Of The Forest

So....



Courage ......



To lose weight you have to have courage. You have to be able to say no to that doughnut at the office and cookies at midnight if it not part of your plan.

You have to have the courage to TIVO a show and work out instead of saying"I had a long day so I am not working out".

I am around food a good bit at work...dinners, ladies bringing cakes and cookies during the year.

I am around food when I am with friends... At any point I can have a wonderful meal, or snack, or taste.Yet I do not. Not anymore.

That is how I lost 21 pounds in the past few weeks. Not alot by some standards and I know that it will not get easier. That my weight will be a life long battle.

I have to have the courage to say no to foods I "can not resist".

I do not make excuses for missing a workout.

I do not mind failing as long as I am trying.....This is for life now.

This is how once I have reached a goal of some kind ....I will keep my weight off.

I know what I am up against. I am okay with that.If that is the only thing people take from my blog, I will be incredibly happy.

Painted Picture

So....

I had someone ask me the other day why now? What makes this time trying to lose weight different? And why did I decide to do it now ....
It was a picture ....
It was made at the first of August while down at the beach with the youth group. Nick made the picture while i was out cooking hamburgers in the pouring rain ...
It was made from behind and it looked pretty dang bad.

When I finally saw it a couple of days later I was like "What the hell am I doing"
I have high blood pressure, I have been to see heart doctors, my back hurts at times.
It just made me think ...and I did for the next week I thought a good bit about where I was in regards to my health. And I did not like what I was seeing coming back at me ...I thought about my family and friends.
My family and friends have been concerned about my weight for years. Why was August 2009 different? It just was and tha'ts the best answer I can give you
I was so paranoid about people judging me. Maybe they did, maybe not.I also thought about the way the world looked at me.

I am happy where I am going right now and folks also keep asking me have I thought about any goals for myself and I now answer yes...
When I get down to 230 I will consider that a big big big thing for me ....Its personal in nature and one day I will share it but 230 is the magic number for me ...

and Thanks Nick for taking that picture ......

Autumn in New York

So....

Yes it's the beginning of fall.... my favorite time of year right behind winter.

I am sure that the southeast is due for some more hot and humid Indian summer days but for right now I can definitely smell Autumn in the air.

This weather gets me thinking about sweaters, Halloween, wood fires, hiking and camping and of course.... comfort foods. Baked goods, hot apple cider, food and fall festivals celebrating the harvest,.....an entire holiday based around eating till your sides pop!

Then I get to thinking , how will I not only get back on track but stay on track during the holidays. But then I remind myself that there is always some holiday or celebration or reason all year round to lose focus and strap on the ole feed bag.

I know that some people really love summer, the clothes, the beaches.... but I have always favored colder climates. Maybe it's because I feel so unattractive in the summer when I am sweating all over everything...... and lets not forget NEVER taking your shirt off at the beach of the pool...Yeah that will never happen. Can you feel the sarcasm? ;)

So to sum up I am super excited and a little on edge about the upcoming months. And the challenges it will bring....

I have been using a little of my down time that I have to try and organize my home life better.

I have been walking more but not enough for me to consider it a full work out. ...BUT ...I do get inspired to be more active in the fall and winter so I have that to look forward to.

The posts here will continue as I adjust to a few new things. But I'm still here, still reading YOUR blogs too and still figuring out what is best for me.

Peace and Good Night

Autumn Leaves

So.....

Who am I blogging for ?
Is the question that lingers and I ask myself a lot. A question that comes up a lot when talking to different folks about it . The life that still continues to happen, despite still being fat. Its true, I am still fat. And yet, I feel different than I did almost two months ago. I'm completely changed by blogging and by refusing to stop living my life because I haven't reached any type of goal weight. I am ok with taking it nice and slow Acceptance? Settling? I don't know.

Here is another fact. I have been doing some form of trying to lose weight in cycles and I know that if I had said two years ago "if I just focused on my health, eating better, moving more, rather than the number on the scale, rather than the next event coming up" I would not still weigh 360lbs.
I kept waiting for the time in my life when I wont be too busy to take care of my health. A time when the dust has settled and planning for the next something has stopped. Guess what?
That time will never come. I've come to realize that this is the action chapter of my life, and a good thing too, right? I have something planned almost every weekend until December. I've got a list of projects I'm working on, ideas I'm formulating, things I'm learning. It is all very fun and exciting and isn't going to stop any time soon so that I can "focus on losing weight."
I have gotten back to the basics in my life....I am focusing on things that matter. Eating better, listening better, cutting back on drinking as much, mending problems.....and yeah finally putting some focus on losing weight
I just want to take weight loss off of my future to-do lists and make it a current action that is happening everyday. Like brushing my teeth or taking a shower

Peace ...

Dancing Through Life

So......

Weight Watchers is BIG.... HUGE on keeping track of every food item that you place into your body. They call it tracking and it can be a real big pain in the buttocks. But for me its totally worth it.

This is a very easy way to monitor yourself to see if you are staying within your points. From the start it helps you begin to become more aware of what you are eating. You can go back weeks ago and see what you were eating ...If it was keeping you full and satisfied..etc. It also allows a place for you to factor in excercise.
You begin to notice right off the bat what works and what does not work for you .
You notice when you are hungry and what has helped in the past to help get you past it...You see how being accountable to yourself and honest with yourself can lead you to success.

Have I written everything down ? No....but I am going to say that 95% of what I eat gets written down.
I write down what I drink....when I excercise.

I want to take a quick moment to say hello to someone who is possibly reading this for the first time ...
A lady at church that I adore and respect has recently started reading and has been incredibly positive with me and my efforts to lose weight.
We had a great talk last Wednesday and I just wanted to say THANKS Rochelle...I appreciate your prayers and support.

Thats it folks....house lights are coming up ...bows have been taken....the team has left the field...we have arrived at the end of another blog post!!
Peace and see yall tomorrow

Here I'll Stay

So....

Today was my usual thing and I went to weight in .....After 5 weeks of new habits and excercise
I am pleased to annouce that I lost 3lbs this past week with a total of 21 in 5 weeks....
As it stands

Starting weight-381lbs
Total lost to date-21lbs
Todays weight-360lbs

I am just tickled actually ...sounds stupid for me to say..... but I am so incredibly pleased with myself ....AND I can already tell a difference in clothes...Just great !

I am still struggling with my weekend schedule and not getting enough fruit, veggies and water but I would like to say that I am getting better at it ...

On another note ...I got my notice in the mail today that I am needing to see my heart doc next week for another echogram....No big deal just keeping up with what my heart is doing and seeing if anything has changed since last time...
Prayers would be appreciated.

I am headed out to finish watching the game at N & L.....

Peace

HELP !!

So.....

Something Weight Watchers themed but not entirely about me losing weight ...
First of all Broadway Under The Stars was a bust ....threat of rain kept us from going out but it was an excellant night of spending time with old friends and new friends. Laura and Wheeler are some great folks and I look forward to getting to know them better as our friendship grows.
Having said that ...I made homemade chicken salad sangwiches for the night.
Rotisserie chicken ...chopped in a food processor. Eggs, Mayo, Celery, Onion Salt, Mayo, Pepper, Mayo, Sweet Pickles and did I mention Mayo ...
Dear lord it takes alot of mayo.....
It was good stuff though and I had more than my fair share while making it and preparing said sangwiches...

Weight Watchers has this great charity that they are associated with that helps raise awareness for fighting hunger at a global and local level.
As members lose weight Weight Watchers has committed itself to donating up to $1 million dollars to organizations that work towards ending world hunger.
They also partner with local community food banks to sponsor food drives.
I know everyone out there is not on WW but this is a wonderful chance for us to donate some time, money or food to our local shelters. The Central Alabama Food Bank in Montgomery serves over 15 counties in central Alabama.

Lose For Good=Good For All is their motto ....

Think about it....See what we have in our pantrys that we could offer to folks who are in need. A small amount goes a very long way towards helping folks who might have nothing.

Thanks
Peace and Good Night

Out of My Dreams

So.....

A slight detour tonight ....I had an incredibly bad dream last night. Dead things after me ...me running and climbing over and through things. If you know me well enough then you have perhaps heard me tell about having dreams of a similar nature before. House full of dead people that grab at me in the bed.
Being trapped in a room with dead people with me fighting and clawing to get out.
ETC ETC ETC .....
The end of the dream found me sitting on the opposite side of the bed shaking and sweating a little.
I hate crap like this but would be hard pressed to find anyone who actually enjoys stuff like this.....

Tonight at church I ate a HUGE salad and part of the canned lasagna that was served....I actually pulled most of the noodles away and just ate the sauce and cheese. Not the best but I guess it could have been alot worse.
Had an early day at Chappys and will have another one tomorrow morning so I am trying to post early tonight ....
A quick heads up ....there will most likely not be a post on Friday night since I will be headed out of town ....but tune in Saturday night !!
Peace

They Dont Know

So....

Our bodies are daily stripped of things that it needs....Our bodies have been trained to store fats. These things continue to make us unhappy and run down
We eat too much junk that give us little or no nutrition. One of the best ways to turn this trend around is simply to eat more foods that are full of nutrients. As I have been reading up on this I have found that spinach, asparagus,collard greens and broccoli are great sources to get the nutrients that you need.
Another harmful problem is sugar. Processed refined sugar. One can of Coca Cola has 10 teaspoons of sugar!! Breads, some salad dressings and even some lunch meats have hidden sugars in them....
The main effort should be to reduce any added sugars in your diet and that way you sorta reprogram yourself and your body not to crave them as much.
These are just two things that we could and should do on a daily basis to increase our energy levels. To lower blood pressure. To feel better overall.

I am guessing that many folks just dont know that there are tons of hidden calories in many of our daily foods. I sure did not know about many of them but with some education we can move towards a more healty lifestyle.

One last thing I recently read ...
Classic Apple Pie
The top and bottom crusts can have around 250 calories with more than 20grams of carbs.
The Apple filling account for only about 65 calories in a slice. If you are baking at home leave the skins on the slices to keep the high fiber content.
A regular sized serving of apple pie will normally have about 13 grams of sugar. Sugar is what makes the pie so great LOL .

The article goes on to give a great alternative
Baked Apples
Halve and core two apples. Lay them cut side up in a foil lined pan. Spoon two teaspoons of plain yogurt. 2tsp brown sugar and 1Tbl walnuts on the tops. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Fill half the pan with hot water and bake at 375degrees for 20-30 minutes.
119 calories each half.

As Time Goes By

So....

Today was really the first day since I started the diet that I found myself off schedule after making a pretty good breakfast.
I had a two egg white omelet with some low fat cheese in it ....two pieces of turkey sausage and one piece of toasted raisin bread.
Downhill from there ...
I did not eat anything else really till about 3 that afternoon after I was back from the funeral. By that time I was STARVING.
I did have an apple on my way to Tuskegee and I drank a ton of water on the way and that then presented another problem.
I had to use the bathroom almost as soon as I was seated in the church. An old church where the floors creak if you sneeze. No way I could even consider getting up to leave and go take a pee. Sorry if this is more than you are used to on my blog ...
But as the time crept by I was actually getting worried. What if the bathrooms did not work for some reason...you have to understand this church is not used on a regular basis anymore so the chance that something was not working was possible.
I was very uncomfortable ...but my dear readers you will be happy to know that I made it...WHEW.
Anyway ...back to my regular thing tomorrow ...no funerals...no out of town stuff. Just in the office drinking my water, eating my dried cranberries and apricots, an apple here or there and maybe doing some work between all of that...

Peace