Autumn Leaves

So.....

Who am I blogging for ?
Is the question that lingers and I ask myself a lot. A question that comes up a lot when talking to different folks about it . The life that still continues to happen, despite still being fat. Its true, I am still fat. And yet, I feel different than I did almost two months ago. I'm completely changed by blogging and by refusing to stop living my life because I haven't reached any type of goal weight. I am ok with taking it nice and slow Acceptance? Settling? I don't know.

Here is another fact. I have been doing some form of trying to lose weight in cycles and I know that if I had said two years ago "if I just focused on my health, eating better, moving more, rather than the number on the scale, rather than the next event coming up" I would not still weigh 360lbs.
I kept waiting for the time in my life when I wont be too busy to take care of my health. A time when the dust has settled and planning for the next something has stopped. Guess what?
That time will never come. I've come to realize that this is the action chapter of my life, and a good thing too, right? I have something planned almost every weekend until December. I've got a list of projects I'm working on, ideas I'm formulating, things I'm learning. It is all very fun and exciting and isn't going to stop any time soon so that I can "focus on losing weight."
I have gotten back to the basics in my life....I am focusing on things that matter. Eating better, listening better, cutting back on drinking as much, mending problems.....and yeah finally putting some focus on losing weight
I just want to take weight loss off of my future to-do lists and make it a current action that is happening everyday. Like brushing my teeth or taking a shower

Peace ...